indecision: (Default)
[personal profile] indecision
so at some point [livejournal.com profile] miss_miso asked me five questions, and instead of doing the five, i just decided to do question five for now, which was:

part one: I watched this documentary recently and thought of you! Now, maybe you prefer darkly intelligent thrillers, but what I really want to hear about are the schlocky, cheesy horror films you love in spite of yourself.

okay so here's the thing? when i was twelve? i was madly, and i mean MADLY in love with vampires. i am not sure how or why and i feel i have gotten over it now (i mean really, why on earth would you want to live forever? and not just that but then your life is dependent on the continuous death of others? i think not!) i mean sure true blood is the coolest tv show right now, and the vampire diaries is pretty awesome, but being a vampire is pants! that said, i, once upon a time, was really enamored with these awful, awful (mostly) made for tv vampire movies comedies. yes, i said comedies. none of that "vampirism is hot and sexy and depressing", not for me. i was a really miserable teenager and comedies were the best way to get away from that. and vampire comedies? GOLD.



nightlife stars barnabas collins ben cross, as a vampire who was abandoned cruelly by his lady love, and now is back to win her love once more. and by win her love i mean kidnap her until she loves him again. which is how vampires court, i feel. i highly doubt it has stood the test of time - my teenaged humor taste - no okay i've not really matured much since then, but i'm entirely certain it's terrible. or...possibly it was never good to begin with. some awesome person put it up on youtube though, which is amazing, i never thought i'd be able to watch it again!

nick knight so this was the tv movie that inspired the often ridiculous but really kind of badass forever knight (about the vampire who becomes a cop in order to atone for his sins), and i remember watching the pilot episode for forever knight and going "i have watched this exact same movie twenty times only it starred rick springfield what fuckery is this!" i was pretty upset until i realized this meant i actually got a tv series to watch twenty times instead of this one movie to watch twenty times? i feel it was a win for everyone! coincidentally enough, forever knight was pretty much my first slash fandom, and nick/lacriox were one of my first otps (the others were fraser/either ray and mulder/krycek). but this is how i discovered slash anyway! through USENET omg! i was...underaged but fortunately i knew how to count backwards, so that didn't stop me none. this movie is sadly not available on youtube, except for the first few minutes, but it doesn't really matter, the pilot ep of the tv series is pretty much exactly the same except with different actors. and that is available on youtube. oh, early nineties hair and clothes, how i love you so. also watching the first five minutes of that ep, i'd forgotten how gay nicholas and lucien were for one another.

my best friend is a vampire so basically robert sean leonard aka. dr. wilson on house is a teenager who gets bitten by a vampire and turns into one, replete with the usual vampire drawbacks, ie. an aversion to garlic, fear of sunlight, need for blood, etc. but since this is a comedy, no-one actually dies. the fearless vampire hunter eventually gets turned himself, and um, some other stuff happens that i don't remember anymore, but it's funny. this isn't on youtube as well, curses, but um, for some reason someone made a vid for it? i don't know why! youtube is magic!

fright night and fright night II are also about teenagers coming face to face with vampires, except this one is a little more typical. in the first movie the protagonist's girlfriend looks identical to the true love of the vampire that moves across the street from him, and it's up to him to save her. this movie is actually pretty violent, people die, but it's still funny - i kind of think the sequel is better? this time the vampire is female, and she's out for revenge or something because her brother died (whups, goes the protagonist. so sorry!) they do the tango at some point and people skate down school hallways in the dark.



part two: For extra credit: recast one of them using some of your celebrity crushes.

and then A. and i decided we would like to recast the lost boys, thank you very much. and yes if you're wondering, would they go there? YES WE DID. OR DID WE the ages don't match up, sadly - very few of these people would be able to be in this particular movie unless hiro can actually time travel and wants to help us out here.



adrian pasdar as michael


We tried to find a picture of AP as Caleb? But we could not find a single appropriate picture or screencap, which is bizarre. Why make it so difficult, AP! But I feel that AP was born a decade before every celebrity photo is in hi-def and on the net, so really the only great photos one has of him is very possibly heroes-era. But then we stumbled across this photo, and is it not perfect?

(Post the vampires, by the way, Michael totally spends all his time hovering outside Sammy's door, hoping to be invited in. For um, PTSD brotherly bonding times, yes.)



milo v. as sammy

sammy
Post the vampires, Sammy's totally convinced that his brother hovers outside his door at night, just waiting for him to open it. He's afraid to open the door mostly because he doesn't want that to not be true.


jane adams as lucy

lucy
This was the toughest to cast! Did you know that most hollywood women in their forties look like they're thirty at most? It's kind of creepy, honestly. Hollywood, age isn't something to be afraid of!


alan arkin as grandpa


"One thing about living in Santa Carla I never could stomach, all the damn vampires."


aldis and edwin hodge as the frog brothers


So we couldn't find a picture of the Hodge brothers as kids, so this is them all grown up. They've left Santa Carla far behind now, and keep their favorite comic books in the trunk of their car together with the weaponry and the incantation books. Sometimes they bump into the other pair of hunter brothers they know, but everyone around the Winchesters has a tendency to die, so Edgar makes sure they head in the other direction as fast as they can.


katee sackhoff as david diana

diana
Three words: Diana/Star/Michael.

Thank you, and goodnight.



michelle rodriguez as dwayne winona

winona - vampire lackey
Did you know that there are two million pictures of Michelle Rodriquez on the net looking badass? Because there are. Anyway, Winona, for sport, likes to beat the pretty out of Paul while Marko watches. He heals, so it's okay. She doesn't want to permanently damage him, just make him bleed a little.


nelsan ellis as marko


In a super AU world, Marko survives this movie and then becomes human again, running off to become a cook only to find himself surrounded by vampires ONCE MORE. Because life sucks that way.


matt bomer as paul

paul - vampire lackey
Paul: You killed Marko!
Edgar Frog: Yeah, and you're next!
Paul: No, you're next!
[Paul sees garlic in the bathtub]
Paul: Haha! Garlic don't work, boys!
Edgar Frog: TRY THE HOLY WATER, DEATH BREATH!



zoe saldana as star

star
I would just like to point you in the direction of this video aka the scene in which Star and Michael do it to an eighties power ballad.


christoph waltz as max

max
"Don't fight, Lucy. It's so much better if you don't fight."


jodelle ferland as abducted vampire child


Creepiest child actress ever.

Date: 2010-04-01 11:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] miss-miso.livejournal.com
OMG! I'm coming back tomorrow to love all over this post. You mentioned Fright Night! Parts I and II! And My Best Friend's A Vampire! And you recast Lost Boys with AP and MV and Alan Arkin and Starbuck!!! Those photos of Adrian and Milo, holy shit. I can't even. *flails*

ILU! I shall return.

Date: 2010-04-01 01:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mumblemutter.livejournal.com
i feel that you should write me sammy/michael slash as played by AP and MV! and maybe some Diana/Michael/Star as well!

*sits and waits patiently*
Edited Date: 2010-04-01 01:49 pm (UTC)

Date: 2010-04-01 11:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] miss-miso.livejournal.com
Argh, I'd love to! Those pictures, omg. I've never seen that one of Adrian before - that is so perfect for Michael! Holy shit! It's like he's auditioning for the part in your little remake. That one of Milo I feel like I've seen before, but maybe not? Like, maybe I've seen a different photo from the same shoot. His little belly! So lickable. He's about a zillion times sexier that Sammy was in the movie (sorry, Corey! Love you baby and RIP, but you were just a little kid then) so slashing them would be much easier, I think? For example, putting Milo in the bath instead of Corey would make the scene both hotter and less disturbing because OMG STOP IT MICHAEL LOOK AT HIM HE'S JUST A BABY.

David was my favourite from that film though. Katee was a great choice to play a genderfucked version of him! Also, is that Lafayette? I love him! If True Blood was all about him, rather than the terminally dull Sookie and Bill, I would have stuck with it.
Edited Date: 2010-04-02 01:10 am (UTC)

Date: 2010-04-02 04:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mumblemutter.livejournal.com
Argh, I'd love to!

please do omg omg! and really, THIS sammy/michael actually doesn't make me feel like a dirty pedo, so yay for that (dude he was actually sixteen when they shot this movie? it's amaazing, he looks so young! haha this is what happens when they actually cast age-appropriate actors, instead of the usual "let's cast a twenty-five year old as a fifteen year old" thing they do - they look so baby-like one gets confused).

that bathtub scene was so cute! AND REALLY MICHAEL STAY AWAY FROM YOUR BROTHER OKAY. unless you're AP and he's MV, then go right ahead!

that is in fact lafayette! love him too! as for katee, see i really never bought star/david? but i will totally buy this star/diana!

Date: 2010-04-02 10:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] miss-miso.livejournal.com
dude he was actually sixteen when they shot this movie? it's amaazing, he looks so young! haha this is what happens when they actually cast age-appropriate actors, instead of the usual "let's cast a twenty-five year old as a fifteen year old" thing they do

I know! Amazing. I mean, I realise girls mature faster than boys in so many ways, but wow. He does not look sixteen. He's technically legal! And no, I would not. However, MV pretending to be sixteen? Yes, yes I would.

i really never bought star/david?

Oh god no. That actress was so out of her depth with Kiefer Sutherland. Interesting that only he and the Coreys really had success after this? And the Coreys didn't last long, of course. Dianne Wiest and Edward Herrmann were already established I think so they don't count. But the guy who played Michael and the girl who played Star - nothing. Holy shit, though! I just realised Edward Herrmann was on Gilmore Girls. I didn't make the connection until just now! He was so much *thinner* back when this was made. Whoa.

I can't stop staring at those pics of MV and AP. That leather jacket/heavily stubbled look could look so wrong on some people (Richard Grieco, yuck!) but it looks really good on Adrian. Really good. And Milo - yeah. That's what I'm talking about with his faux-jailbait look. It works for me.

(Oh shit. Does this make me a cougar? Is there an official definition for cougars? I don't feel old enough. Not yet, anyway! Give me a few more years at least.)

Date: 2010-04-02 12:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mumblemutter.livejournal.com
seriously! i mean i'm grateful for it, it means i can perv without feeling guilty, but then at the same time i think there's nothing to actually feel guilty OVER because the actual teenagers i never ever find perv worthy. they're all so...unformed as human beings.

haha the dude who played michael, poor guy, he was unfortunate enough to be cast in speed 2. and i remember the actress who played star like, took a break from acting for a while? big mistake, she never did make it back!

dude dude i just keep wanting to read michael/sammy like, right now! and by that i mean "i keep wanting you to write it and i want to snuggle in it like a blanket!" that AP and that MV <--made for this movie!

(i feel you are not old enough to be a cougar. and also they are not actually teenagers, just pretend teenagers, so it's all good.)

Date: 2010-04-02 10:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] miss-miso.livejournal.com
Oh, that's right, he *was* in speed 2! Wow, that was a shocker. Wait, and now I remember I saw him in a movie called Narc - he was actually really good! I don't think Lost Boys exactly showcased his acting skills (in fact I thought he was kind of crap), but in Narc he wasn't bad at all.

(oh, awesome. I shall continue lusting after jailbait Milo with a clear conscience then. thank you!)

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Date: 2010-04-02 04:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mumblemutter.livejournal.com
A: HEY LET'S WRITE A FIC IN WHICH PETER IS TURNED INTO A PUPPY
A: AND THE FIRST THING HE DOES IS PISS ON NATHAN'S COUCH
ME: I WANT EMMA TO BE LIKE
ME: KNOCKING ON NATHAN'S DOOR
ME: holding the puppy in her hands?
ME: and nathan's like "yes?"
ME: and emma's like "my boyfriend and i had him over for dinner, and then this happened. uh, hesam told me i should give him to you." and nathan's like "give me what? what are you-" and then she shoves the squirming puppy into nathan's hands and like "peter! take him!" and then he tries to chase emma down the hallway? and he's like "what happened to my brother peter." and she's lost patience by then, and besides nathan seems to think that she being deaf means he has to speak really slowly like she's mentally challenged and use his hands to describe his words, so it's likely peter's right, his brother is an asshole, so she just points to the puppy, goes "PETER!" and then stomps off. so the first thing nathan does is like he dumps the puppy onto the couch. and then he makes some phonecalls.
ME: and then he calls ma, and she's like, serenely, "oh, i had a dream, dear."and nathan's like "you had a dream? what kind of dream? this is crazy, even for you, ma." and angela's like "believe me, i thought it was odd as well. but most of the time my dreams aren't so literal. do you need some help? my friend candice knows the name of an excellent dog trainer." and nathan's like "your son is a puppy!" and angela's like "...yes. here, grab a pen, i will give you the number." and then nathan has to hang up because the dog has decided to pee on his couch.


ME: awww i want peter to insist on sleeping in nathan's bed
haha peter can TOTALLY understand him
he just pretends not to
so he can pee on nathan's couch
and eat his shoes
and insist on following him everywhere
AHAHA LIKE A PUPPY
EXACTLY LIKE PETER
A: nathan nathan i can play dead! nathan nathan i can roll over!
A: HE SHOULD TTLY AT SOME POINT CARRY HIM SOMEWHERE HALF-HIDDEN UNDER HIS COAT


ME: everytime nathan does something peter disagrees with
peter destroys a shirt or pees on the couch or chews on a shoe
once he hides ALL THE REMOTES
because nathan had just left them out there
and you know, nathan's policies, if peter's not happy with them
A: and then when nathan gets angry with him!
HE DOES THE ACTUAL PUPPY DOG EYES
ME: or heaven forbid if nathan tries to date someone
ME: AND HIS DATE WONDERS WHY HE'S YELLING AT THIS DEFENSELESS LITTLE PUPPY
A: "clearly you have anger management issues, nathan. i will go now."
A: peter: ::somehow manages to look smug::


BONUS: NATHAN GOING "YOU GET IT; RIGHT?"

okay third time's the charm, YOU'D THINK I DIDN'T KNOW HTML HI.
Edited Date: 2010-04-02 04:52 am (UTC)

Date: 2010-04-02 10:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] miss-miso.livejournal.com
That's the most adorable little story EVER!

nathan seems to think that she being deaf means he has to speak really slowly like she's mentally challenged and use his hands to describe his words, so it's likely peter's right, his brother is an asshole, so she just points to the puppy, goes "PETER!" and then stomps off.

Haha, I love Emma. She so wouldn't tolerate Nathan's attitude.

and then when nathan gets angry with him!
HE DOES THE ACTUAL PUPPY DOG EYES


OMG. I'm...not a dog person? But I am a puppy person, if that makes sense (bad experience as a child - I'm dead scared of big, full-grown dogs). And the image of Peter as a really, really deliberately naughty puppy is just too cute for words. Now *this* type of puppy play, I like. What sort of puppy is he? I need a visual! I can't go past this pic, because look, look, the puppy is hovering! Just like Peter and Nathan!

Date: 2010-04-02 10:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] miss-miso.livejournal.com
OMG, wait, wait, look at this one!!! You know Nathan would dress him up in little outfits like this. Because it's his baby brother, and he wouldn't want him to catch cold!




Sorry, I should probably take my hand off the 'exclamation mark' key. And this has nothing to do with Vampires. How did we get here?

Date: 2010-04-02 10:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mumblemutter.livejournal.com
Ahaha that's a very good question. AS USUAL CM DIDN'T PROVIDE ANY CONTEXT FOR OUR NONSENSE.

cm: ...and then Peter wakes up, with his right wrist handcuffed to the hospital bed he's on. On the one hand, this seems unnecessary, because Peter without any powers is about as threatening to the Villains as a three-day-old puppy. Against that, however, is the fact that Peter's a dick, so it's hilarious. <---twop recap
cm: HAHAHA


And then I came back from vacuuming and just really wanted puppy fic, apparently. Um. Clearly the Heroes fandom needs more "[character] turns into [fuzzy little animal]" stories! Bandom had dozens! And I immediately started a Google image search for "puppy", of course, but we didn't really settle on one? But that's how I found the picture with the waggy tail! And here we are.

But ahaha look! Idk if Peter should be a beagle though, we were thinking a wee, dark-haired little thing. But omg the flying puppy! Look at his widdle earsssss! And holy shit that's the wee-est puppy ever, it could fit on Nathan's palm! Is that even a real dog?

(*cuddles little!you protectively*)

Date: 2010-04-02 11:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] miss-miso.livejournal.com
Is that even a real dog?

I think so? I think it's a 'teacup' something or other. I agree puppy Peter should have dark fur, but I couldn't find any pics cute enough (ok, it was a really quick search!).

And oh, so that's where it came from! Heh. I hate twop but if it generated thoughts of cute puppies, then yay!

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Date: 2010-04-02 03:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anansie-s.livejournal.com
BONUS: NATHAN GOING "YOU GET IT; RIGHT?"

That is PERFECT! And the Emma, puppy, Nathan story is so cute! I love Peter pretending not to understand Nathan so that he can eat his shoes. It um, makes sense, sorta. As much sense as it can, anyway.

Adrian looks so amazing in that old pic. And tiny Milo! Look at him pose.

But um, Michelle Rodriguez. Good lord. There's something about her that um, I don't know. Something. Never mind me, I don't know English.

Date: 2010-04-02 08:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mumblemutter.livejournal.com
It um, makes sense, sorta. As much sense as it can, anyway.

i feel it totally makes sense - if nathan knows peter understands him perfectly it's not so fun! well you know, from peter's point of view. i'm sure nathan might have something to say about that.

i tag YOU to write sammy/michael as played by adrian/milo now. thank you!

ohinoright srsly srsly? she was in resident evil...which, zombies, my second favorite horror trope next to vampires! and was so superhot throughout the whole thing.

Date: 2010-04-02 08:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anansie-s.livejournal.com
Hmmm, I feel as though puppy!Peter's strategy re: Nathan is real!Peter's strategy too, to some degree. 'Cos Nathan doesn't do anything fun unless he's provoked.

i tag YOU to write sammy/michael as played by adrian/milo now. thank you!

But I have no idea who sammy/michael are! Who are these people? I assume something to do with a vampire film.

(But Zombies are smelley and gory! I hope M. Rodriguez wasn't a zombie in this film. Maybe I should check it out. And it's an extra bonus that she's *actually* gay)

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Date: 2010-04-01 11:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] miss-miso.livejournal.com
Wait, wait, one more thing. Did you ever see Vamp? It's a cheesy eighties vampire comedy with Grace freaking Jones as the head vamp chick. I saw it on video about 15 years ago, I think? It wasn't bad! Okay, it was, but it was also confusingly sexy. Grace Jones was scary.

Now! I'm going to get a coffee and come back to finish reading the fic you sent me. I'll hopefully be able to email you about it later today?

Date: 2010-04-02 05:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mumblemutter.livejournal.com
oh god i have not seen this before WHY HAVE I NOT SEEN THIS BEFORE?

sorry, the capslock is strong with me today!

(and yay! but again dude take your time really i am in no rush! <3)

Date: 2010-04-02 10:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] miss-miso.livejournal.com
I don't know! Maybe because it's shit! But, you know. The type of shit you might like, maybe?

(I'm so sorry, I'm a bit useless at the moment for many reasons...thannks for being patient!)

Date: 2010-04-02 02:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mumblemutter.livejournal.com
it is totally shit i like! you know me so well, dude. bad taste is always welcome in the house of me!

(also oh no don't apologize please! i just hope you're okay? *cuddlehugs*)

Date: 2010-04-02 01:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mimesh.livejournal.com
Okay, I'd like to inform you that I totally did watch Lost Boys this morning, so I could appreciate this pic spam. Unfortunately megavideo is a pain in the ass and I still didn't manage to see the ending. What happens after they kill all the vampires? Is Micheal human again or did killing David turn him into a full vampire?

Btw, I totally enjoyed that movie. Now I also know why missy kept mentioning a saxophone scene. Ahahahaha.

But yes, this recasting would make the movie 10 times hotter! That is a very good look for Adrian. Yum. And Zoe is so pretty but I fear I would be helplessly attracted to Max and probably ship Max/Sam (in addition to A/M as Michael/Sam) with Christoph in the role. D:

Date: 2010-04-02 02:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mumblemutter.livejournal.com
!!! is it not the best eighties vampire movie ever? and oh no sorry it cut off! um, this is the final scene on youtube? i hope it works for you! i think if it doesn't let me know, i found another video with the final scene as well.

they were enjoying the saxaphone unironically! how can you beat that?!

that is so wrong considering the age difference but now that you mention it holy shit yes, so long as it's christoph playing it and not lorelai gilmore's daddy. and you know, that actually frees star up for diana, because i totally ship star/diana now. michael and max will just have to fight over who gets to keep sam?

Date: 2010-04-02 10:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] miss-miso.livejournal.com
so long as it's christoph playing it and not lorelai gilmore's daddy.

Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew! My brain just filled with Jess/Richard images... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! He'd squash the poor boy. He's like, three MVs, surely!

michael and max will just have to fight over who gets to keep sam?

*claps* there's an idea!

Date: 2010-04-03 02:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mumblemutter.livejournal.com
Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew! My brain just filled with Jess/Richard images... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

ahem. i wonder if the richard actor was maybe superhot when he was young. it seems unlikely, does it not?

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