there's something inside me that moves beneath the surface

[indecision]

k just put on linkin park's hybrid theory. my god, it's been years. years! it's actually still really good. there's no filler! i miss you, linkin park! band as hit-driven corporation has never been so appealingly pretty, or so catchy. also i'm probably the only person that actually regrets the death of nu-metal.

hey, we're not anonymous anymore! anyway i wrote:

b-sides and rarities, (She Wants Revenge, the album)
for every ending, (Miami Vice, the movie. yes the one starring colin farrell, bless him.)*

treats/pinch-hits were:

even the most sophisticated of machines, (Alien vs Predator)
the death of girl number two, (Profit)
captain smith and pocahantas had a very mad affair, (Near Dark/Heroes)

yes two of my stories featured The Pasdar. he's just really hotinteresting okay? i'm not entirely sure how commenting works in AO3, so i'd just like to thank everyone who commented over here. eta: and actually everyone that i wrote for, for being awesome and loving the sources for these, all of which i adored, even before the whole Pasdar thing.

*i actually wanted to talk about that colin farrell movie at some point, and actually i should stop calling it that, because other than gong li (GONG LI!!) it has the quite marvelous jamie foxx in it, not to mention the rest of the awesome team that is team MVPD Vice. which is just about my favorite thing about said movie, the team dynamics, and i suspect the movie has very little to the show that shares its name, but it's still quite lovely. i would read fic in which the MVPD do nothing but solve crimes and support one another while carting around big guns and being bad-ass and constantly anticipating each other's needs because they're essentially one singular well-oiled machine. i really would. in conclusion: more people should watch this movie! ETA2: i tried to stalk our doom fic-writers, but couldn't find them, sadly. *prods at AO3*

ETA3: i realized i forgot to thank co-journaller, who is amazing and who held my hand throughout everything, including getting betas for me and uploading everything and just basically being stellar (and who actually co-wrote the profit fic, TBH), and you only wish you had one of her but tough, you have to get your own.

Writing meme, 2009
I've never done this meme before, because it's HILARIOUS and you know, chances are i will link to fic that's not even mine but i wish i wrote, so hey.


Fiction posted in 2009:
january
all the lost, forgotten things - interpol, paul/pretty much everyone in the band. my last interpol fic! o.O

February through to July
uh...pretty much nothing! i was angry with you, fandom, for various instances of fail! i got over it though, um. yaye?

August
rain down, rain down (the persistence of memory mix), kirk/mccoy, star trek/blade runner AU. also known as "james t kirk is an electric sheep"

September
nada!

October
and somewhere we will meet
...which is the sequel to rain down, rain down.

November
blue skies shine above you
my second and last! star trek fic. uh, because you can't leave a fandom without making james t kirk underaged and sleeping with an older mccoy? that's how i feel it goes anyway.

December
five lives of crime, a Heroes AU
do over, my post the-fifth stage fix-its (emo tear!)

Overall Thoughts:
uh...interpol went exploded, i kind of just, lost interest in their non-shennanigans - bear in mind we got INTO the fandom during a hiatus, but that was when we had so much media to download, read and watch, and everything was just us catching up. after the rather anti-climactic non-event that was OLTA, everything just spluttered out. but hey, let's not talk about interpol. let's talk instead about kirk/mccoy, and then the BROTHERS PETRELLI.

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you'd predicted?
less, probably? i was pretty prolific in 2008! and by "prolific" i mean i wrote just about seven or eight stories, but one of them was more than 20K words and took months, which for me is amazing, so. okay wow no, considering the beta-queue, more is probably true. uh, i wrote a lot in interpol i never published. mostly the porn. but also a lot i just never got around to finishing. i tend to finish my heroes fic more!

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January?
HAHAHA THE BROTHERS PETRELLI. look i've been watching heroes for four years, okay? it never occurred to me to actually write the slash, though i saw it.

What's your own favorite story of the year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you happiest?
i hate everything the second after i publish it. don't even ask me this question.

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?
uh...i learnt that plot is hard, skip it for the emo pretty boys making anime eyes at each other. \o/ THAT WAS WHAT I TOOK FROM TRYING TO COMPLETE the "rain down, rain down" series, essentially.

From my past year of writing, what was....

My best story of this year:
uh, i'm going to go with the ones where there's a happy ending! oh wait i don't think that ever happened.

My most popular story of this year:
the star trek ones, but i feel mostly because more people tend to read star trek than anything else.

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion:
all my genius is under-appreciated.

Most fun story to write:
i enjoyed writing the one where there was no sex scene to worry about? LOL GEN.

Story with the single sexiest moment:
LOL WHUT? vague sex scenes sandwiched between characters emoing at one another is not sexy!

Most "Holy crap, that's wrong, even for you" story:
WELL THAT WOULD BE THE FIC THAT WOULD BE IN THE BETA-QUEUE RIGHT NOW. which is 13-year old jim profit/his stepmomma. i'd say "how could you even go there?!" but then again, THE SHOW WENT THERE FIRST. so there.

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters:
again, what? look, the point of them emoing at one another is basically so that we can GET to the vague sex scenes okay? there is no character perception shifting or whatever nonsense, just a matter of trying to get them into a position where they'd hit it.

Hardest story to write:
"and somewhere we will meet" was really hard! it had an actual plot that i couldn't brush aside in favor of like, characters emoing at one another.

Biggest Disappointment:
uh. OH. my short foray into the star trek fandom, which ended up with me mostly going "well that james t kirk rebooted is kind of pants, isn't he?" and then sashaying out. after i'd turned him into a fifteen year old army brat and a replicant, of course.

Biggest Surprise:
that i would ever write FPS again. it's not been my thing for years, and i'd just gotten used to the idea that i enjoyed the, i wouldn't say relative freedom? of RPF? or even that the characterization is fluid? but that their public image, and whatever they said, tended to be consistent and continually evolving (interviews keep coming out, etc). with FPF you're restricted by the whims of whatever writer's daddy issues decides to come into play that particular day. and then if the series/movie is completed, there's just no more canon. suucks! uh, i guess one gets used to a lot? it's difficult viewing characters as more or less "real people". i'm more of talking about writers and producers in terms of their motivations. uh.

Most Unintentionally Telling Story:
surprisingly, nothing this year! uh, actually maybe "blue skies shine above you", but nothing to do with jimmy kirk OR mccoy.

Fic-writing goals for 2010:
write more porn! no, seriously. says right here. WRITE MORE PORN. MORE PORN, LESS EMO.

Comments

[pneumatique.livejournal.com]

miami vice you crazy thing

but you wrote so much stuff for yuletide this year! all applause! i knew you were a good person at heart. i will come and read your meme thing later when i am not BUSY ON the INTERNET

[mumblemutter.livejournal.com]

it is an awesome movie i demand you watch it and WRITE ME TEAM FIC, WOMAN.

oh gosh i read your fic just now, i had no idea what was going on but it was really lovely prose! ...i don't know what arcadia is, it is a book, yes?

(that's what happens when you have no job and lots of free time! you write fic!)

[pneumatique.livejournal.com]

it's a tom stoppard play! WHICH MAY BE THE BEST PLAY OF OUR ERA etc etc so they told me in my shitty school

oh shh you are so kind to me.

[mumblemutter.livejournal.com]

IT'S A PLAY EVEN WORSE DID THEY MAKE A MOVIE OUT OF IT AT SOME POINT?

if not, clearly they should.

ps. write me miami vice fic. i'm not even kidding.

[pneumatique.livejournal.com]

no! on the special features for "r&g are dead" stoppard was all "some people wanted to make a film from arcadia and i was like no, guys, why? you can't say anything important through a shift in corporeal medium for this piece" and i was like, "because, you twat, some people don't live in london or new york"

well maybe i just WILL

[mumblemutter.livejournal.com]

well, i hope you choke on your play, stoppard! *smacks him*

YOU SHOULD. I SHALL HOLD YOU TO THIS.

[pneumatique.livejournal.com]

but it's short, you can read it! it's about some ridiculous people. it's set in 1809 and also the 1990s and i guess it is very funny? it's about pompous academics, insane mathematicians, bad poets and girl geniuses.

[mumblemutter.livejournal.com]

you could read it out loud and i'd listen to it! ...or i will try reading it, sigh. words so hard! moving to london to catch it seems more likely! define short, bb.

[pneumatique.livejournal.com]

99 pages? ish? of dialogue, too, so it's not exactly densely packed. you could get some friends together and do a reading like in olden tiems!

[mumblemutter.livejournal.com]

...i have no friends who read books, darling. except for on the interwebs. i shall make do with downloading and reading it, then. sad.

[anansie-s.livejournal.com]

Ok, I loved that Near Dark crossover, and just read the Profit one (so wonderfully creepy -- oh how I love Gail -- and hot? I can't explain why, but hot). I'm amazed that those two were pinch-hits! Wow.

[mumblemutter.livejournal.com]

they were last-minute treats actually (from bouncing around the unfilled requests page), but thank you!

also your scarred peter icon gives me a jolt of joy i don't even know why!

randomly, we've made it through most of milo ventimiglia's catalogue (there's not much, except for GG, which we're still in the process of watching), and finding adrian pasdar's far more entertaining! he's a decade older so he has more stuff under his belt, but i do wish milo would catch up at some point. pathology was painful to watch, despite having naked milo. more people should hire him to stand around being pretty.

[anansie-s.livejournal.com]

Ooh scarred Peter, yes. I love him. Maybe partly 'cos his scar is identical to that of one of my other fav. characters ever, Omar from The Wire (points to icon -- his scar is real, though). Yeah, I normally don't love Milo in his more macho roles (Pathology!) but Future Peter is the exception. Oh, and naked Milo, always.

I haven't seen GG yet, but really liked him in the Bedford Diaries, Opposite Sex (he's so tiny and cute!!) and Dirty Deeds :) But yeah, I have to agree. Adrian is a comparative paragon. He *needs* to be given some bigger roles post-Heroes (Profit season 2!?!?). I think that my celebrity crush on Adrian is one of the few that will last (like Ru Paul, he can do no wrong). I should stop reading interviews with Milo though. They wear down my ability to fangirl over him. Pasdar, otoh, has never disappointed :D

[mumblemutter.livejournal.com]

oh my god omaar! i love him! i stopped watching the wire halfway through season three because i couldn't handle the intensity of it (s1 and s2 blew me away but were just really intense and hard to handle. they're all just waiting for me to catch up to them at some point), but i love me some omar!

oh i am trying to find these, but i gave up because it didn't seem like he had starring roles in them? is he in them enough to watch? (also i'm so glad i'm not the only one that feels this way about milo. i stopped watching interviews with him after a few, because yeah. there is nothing wrong with peter being sensitive and good hearted, MILO. shut up!) pasdar though. everything he ever says about his characters i love! i feel he really puts thought into crafting them, and it's lovely to read about.

[anansie-s.livejournal.com]

s1 and s2 blew me away but were just really intense and hard to handle.

Srsly! I stopped watching halfway through S5 because I don't want it to be over! And I don't normally have any self-restraint. Snoop (maybe starting in season 3?) is another intense, amazing character.

Bedford Diaries was more of an ensemble show (and overall, just OK, IMO), but he stars in Opposite Sex and Dirty Deeds. I wonder if MV is picking shitty movie roles lately because he's being reactionary about Peter's niceness. He needs to realise being that pretty and earnest is one of his *strengths*. It's not so bad, Milo!

i feel he really puts thought into crafting them, and it's lovely to read about.

Absolutely. He has a sense of humour about his characters, too. In an affectionate way. And he's so chill, whereas Milo, in trying to be 'humble' keeps subtly reiterating that he's a CELEBRITY who looooves the military and is just so GREAT and gives back to the kids (er, by putting out ultra-violent gory comics) because he cares. /inappropriate cynicism.

I recently saw on Pasdar's youtube that he's planning on starting a video blog \o/

[mumblemutter.livejournal.com]

haa. i still have half of the last episode of deadwood unwatched? because i know there's no more and i just couldn't bear that thought. so it's like the series never ends or something, i'm just waiting for the new season to come.

you know i feel that might be it? all that bulking up because he doesn't want to appear weak. what, that's just odd, milo. nothing wrong with being pretty and frail looking. an entire industry built around FOB and the like is proof of that!

oh ouch that military thing i don't even know how to deal with it i'm like "...okay? um. okay? milo what are you trying to say exactly?"

!!! i would watch that video blog. i would watch it so hard! just as long as he leaves the imovie behind. my god, pasdar. put down the sepia-toned filter for ONE SECOND PLEASE.

[anansie-s.livejournal.com]

you know i feel that might be it? all that bulking up because he doesn't want to appear weak.

Yah. I ardently approve of the frail look, but I guess it can make it hard to get roles. He stated that at one point he had to bulk up, because he was getting too old for the teenage roles he suited before. I think he's at a perfect in-between season 1 and season 2 stage, right now. Thank god he's a boy and I don't have to feel too bad about objectifying him.

oh ouch that military thing i don't even know how to deal with it i'm like "...okay? um. okay? milo what are you trying to say exactly?"

OMG. I know. I sometimes forget that beauty =/= good intentions/compassionate politics. Someone told me that he *is* an Obama supporter, so there's that, at least. And er, he's vegetarian, which suggests to me that he's thoughtful and maaaaybe not one of those U-S-A! U-S-A! types. But it doesn't necessarily mean anything.

[mumblemutter.livejournal.com]

ha! *objectifies milo* no yeah, i don't really like how the extra bulk made his face look all square, i'm glad he toned it down a little. still could use a little more though. also i liked the long hair, dammit. more hair in front of your face, milo!

but yeah, i don't know i'm trying to think of the major movie stars these days um. i forget! i only think of george clooney and then i get all distracted because he's so suave and handsome, sigh.

aiyee the vegetarian, non-smoking, non-drinking thing got co-journaller SO PLEASED. meanwhile i'm like "have a little meat, milo. won't kill ya." ahem ahem.

oddly enough i generally go for the RPF first and foremost. but with milo and adrian i don't even know where to start!

[mumblemutter.livejournal.com]

oh and also co-journaller and i have been going through your fic masterlist (we're both TERRIBLE at leaving feedback...because we suck), and we think you're amazing and should write us miami vice write us more peter/nathan fic. thank you and goodnight.

[anansie-s.livejournal.com]

*blush!* Man, I should get around to seeing Miami Vice. I wanna write more Peter/Nathan but have to find a way to get over my damn oversensitivity re: canon fucking them over, first.

[mumblemutter.livejournal.com]

canon <--pants! i am wrecked, and have decided to spend like, the next six months basically writing variations of the same story, in which peter goes bat-shit crazy over the loss of his brother and destroys the world.

...either that or uh, porn where he's underaged and his brother is not dead. you know.

i guess there'll be a funeral at some point this january? the finality of it makes me sad. i hate to think about it, even. uh, let's hope pasdar finds something awesome to star in afterwards? although he's said that he can only do shows which are shot in LA, which i imagine is going to be tough. i would like to see him play evil again though. \o/

(miami vice is cool. teamness and gong li. <3)

[anansie-s.livejournal.com]

Gah. I vote for the PORN!! Although I agree in principle with Peter going crazy and destroying everything. I can't even fathom the idea yet (from what I know, the funeral will happen in the coming episode) and couldn't bring myself to read any of the angsty N/P fic that people have written around Nathan's death so far. Must protect my delicate sensibilities; canon is painful enough as it is.

[mumblemutter.livejournal.com]

ino i'm so wrecked, man. so wrecked! and hilariously, just AS WE GOT INTO THIS FANDOM THIS HAPPENED. i mean, what. i feel the universe is conspiring against us, man.

(i vote for the porn too, and patiently wait for you to start writing again! ...no pressure or anything, i swear.)